12 Red Flags
Twelve Red Flags Everyone should be Aware of
1. Trusting your “gut” or your instincts is the first and most important red flag.
2. Something doesn’t feel right: When your instincts are telling you something isn’t right, it isn’t.
3. Creating false sense of unity or familiarity: “We can do this.”
4. False need to be rescued: Being asked to rescue someone from a “crisis.” Ask yourself if this is really a crisis and are you the person to help them
5. Physical or verbal boundary breakers: Ignoring a “No” statement, standing too close, failing to leave when asked, or any attempt to ignore your will.
6. Attempts to shame or guilt: Negative statements tend to make people feel guilty or act in a way to disprove the allegation. Know this is intentionally deceptive.
7. Unsolicited promises: “You don’t have to worry, I’ll take care of you.” “You are safe with me.” Ask yourself, “why would he say this, why or how am I safe with this person?”
8. Emotional pleas: An attempt to manipulate or control using emotional statements. “I’m scared.” I’m upset.” “I’m hurting.”
9. Lying: Listen for the other person to try to convince you something is true especially if using too many details.
10. Inconsistency: Pay attention to their words and actions in the context of the situation. Are they consistent?
11. Behavior inappropriate to the situation/context: Watch for behavior that may seem odd, exaggerated, or not the norm for the situation.
12. Too helpful: Being overly helpful may be a way of gaining some form of leverage or to make you feel as if you now “owe” them something.