12 Red Flags

Twelve Red Flags Everyone should be Aware of

Triancular_red_flag1. Trusting your “gut” or your instincts is the first and most important red flag.

Triancular_red_flag2.  Something doesn’t feel right:  When your instincts are telling you something isn’t right, it isn’t. 

Triancular_red_flag3.  Creating false sense of unity or familiarity:  “We can do this.”

Triancular_red_flag4.  False need to be rescued:  Being asked to rescue someone from a “crisis.”  Ask yourself if this is really a crisis and are you the person to help them

Triancular_red_flag5.  Physical or verbal boundary breakers:    Ignoring a “No” statement, standing too close, failing to leave when asked, or any attempt to ignore your will. 

Triancular_red_flag6.  Attempts to shame or guilt:  Negative statements tend to make people feel guilty or act in a way to disprove the allegation.  Know this is intentionally deceptive.

Triancular_red_flag7.  Unsolicited promises:   “You don’t have to worry, I’ll take care of you.”  “You are safe with me.” Ask yourself, “why would he say this, why or how am I safe with this person?”

Triancular_red_flag8.  Emotional pleas:  An attempt to manipulate or control using emotional statements. “I’m scared.” I’m upset.” “I’m hurting.”    

Triancular_red_flag9.  Lying:  Listen for the other person to try to convince you something is true especially if using too many details. 

Triancular_red_flag10.  Inconsistency: Pay attention to their words and actions in the context of the situation.    Are they consistent?

Triancular_red_flag11.  Behavior inappropriate to the situation/context:  Watch for behavior that may seem odd, exaggerated, or not the norm for the situation. 

Triancular_red_flag12.  Too helpful:  Being overly helpful may be a way of gaining some form of leverage or to make you feel as if you now “owe” them something.    

Be sure to visit the Red Flags page where these are developed further with specific examples